Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
