Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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