I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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