Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
