I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
