ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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