how can u be prego again
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's never too late to be topless.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
