in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize