You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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