just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
