What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
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we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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