Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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