the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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