I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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