You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
