Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
