i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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