bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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