my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She's the barista slut.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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