with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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