You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
