You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
