Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
