Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And then my night got REAL pukey
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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