Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
