jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
