you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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