a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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