hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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