Having a random hookup so left but love u
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
