i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
