In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
