I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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