Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
