Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
