I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
