She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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