what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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