we made out on top of his cat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
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Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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