hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
