I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
