these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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