Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There r osticjed everywhere
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
