Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
