I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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