Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
