I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
