I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize