i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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