You're completely useless in the revolution.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
