It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
