Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
