He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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