I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize