brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
