im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
