omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
