Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we're making bets on your personal life
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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