I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
